One of the most powerful phrases I have ever heard is “I accept my pain”.
This may be too vague to understand. We are all hurt in one way or another. We all went through hard times, faced obstacles, and been into battles with no sword. But we all survived our battles. There are those who were aware of how they survived all of what they went through. Then there are those who have no clue about what happened and how it ended.
The Story Behind the Phrase.
Once I was watching “Code Black”, which is an American series, and a line “I accept my pain” hit me. A doctor in the series said it. She lost her little girl in a car accident and could not cope with it. She did not want to talk about it and she used to avoid going upstairs so that she does not pass by her daughter’s room. In order to forget about her daughter’s loss, she kept herself busy at work. This scene seemed somehow realistic because there are times where we do not admit the fact that we are hurt, disappointed, upset, mad… etc.
All we do is pretend that we are doing great and put one of our masks on our faces as if we are strong enough to let someone cause us such harm. However, the truth is we are human beings. We are weak and strong, and we will always be so. In other words, we do not like to show, talk, or share any of our emotions or the way we feel about something. All we do is keep them inside our minds and hearts. We do not let them out because we end up being afraid of the way we may look in front of others. We do not consider our mental health as a priority. We do not even believe in such a term, we try to fake it till we make it. Fake being good till you are.
Admitting that We Are Hurt Will Not Change Who We Are.
A lot of people think that showing emotions is a sign of having a weak personality and being too naïve or stupid. In a study which was conducted by UCLA psychologists “Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects In The Brain”, the team emphasized the importance of talking with a therapist or a friend or writing in a journal about feelings. They mentioned how this can affect a person’s brain by helping a person to be more active and mindful.
Sharing the Pain Proudly.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with severe anemia. I could not breathe as I used to. I forgot about working out, hanging out with friends, having girls’ night with my little sister, traveling,…etc. I had to give up on too many things that made me happy before I got sick. I could not accept the fact that I am sick. I did not like it. Especially going to the hospital every week for a checkup and being in bed for weeks without having the strength to stand on my feet to get myself a glass of water. It was really hard to accept this. However, after accepting the fact that I am sick and that I need help, which was not an easy task at all, everything changed for real.
The way I accepted it was through talking about my sickness with pride. I shared my insecurities with my mother and best friends. I even joined support groups on Facebook where I had the chance to meet with females whose cases were worse than mine. I was no longer depressed. I could talk about it with others without feeling sorry for myself. I began to see life’s colors again and find happiness in little things.
It is not an easy task to accept the pain, especially if we are used to being active and strong. It is fine if we admit that we do not feel good. It is fine to ask for help. It is fine to consider our mental health as a priority, and it is fine to accept the pain.
Author: Manel Lydia Khelil.