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addiction

Human bodies addicted to pain

Addiction – Poem

February 12 2020
addiction, anxiety, depression, pain, Poem, poetry, struggles

human bodies 

remember the infliction of pain

the memories, the injuries

the human body 

has a fascinating way of making you live the moment

all over again.

 

i am addicted to voices in my head 

telling me what i am worth

and what i am not

where i do, and do not belong

 

my body is barely leaning against a wall

against a background of my nails scratching the dried up blood

the stories of pain and conflict are told in its corners

reeking through its cracks

every mistake I ever made

until it risks its fall

but the wall stands tall, i

am the wall.

 

i wake up 

to the same scars

to the same bumps on my skin

dried up blood on my sheets and a

 “oops” 

i

did it again, well

we did it again, 

didn’t we?

 

my bathroom floor already knows me

a little too well 

the blood in the sink was the hardest stain to clean 

but i remember all it took was my tears

to wash away my mistakes 

from the nights before i disappeared

before I sunk into my own realm

 

and i

used to beg the voices in my head to leave me alone

but now that they’re gone

i am lonely

i have grown used to their company

to their echoes

feeding off my psyche

and I guess I am not really clean

since they’re still using me

 

the human body, registers the pain

and what causes it

and how it feels

just not this time, I think it failed somehow

it only feels like reality

looks like reality

but isn’t entirely real. 

 

Author Nourhane Atmani.

 

Photographer: Mwangi Gatheca.

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